North Carolina is NOT Florida

So, part one of my move is finished and New York is just a bad memory. Wonderful people have accepted us here in North Carolina till we get straightened out, but North Carolina itself is not holding her arms open for us. She is however, holding her hands open for us to drop money in. It seems, nothing comes easy in NC.

North Carolina is a beautiful state. There's no mistaking that. Even though there is no tar on my heels or even on my soles for that matter, I can see the untapped potential for a writer here.
The scenery is spectacular, and the people are all so nice. Of course, it could be a sugar rush from the sweet tea, but I'm raring to go. I'm waiting to take in everything, and eventually I'll get to it. But, there are a few dozen things I need to do before I can explore.
There is the North Carolina DMV lurking over my shoulders, just waiting for me to attempt to even start my car. The ticket books are poised.
At least that is what I'm told. I am not yet ready to find out either. I firmly believe that you should live somewhere for at least a year before you obtain a criminal status. That's where New York screwed up. I wasn't there more than four hours before cops started handing me tickets.

It was as if radar went off somewhere and the warning of an out-of-state license filled all of them with visions of monthly ticket quotas. They flocked to me, setting road-blocks and bringing the dogs out to track me. They even had the boat cops patrolling the shoreline just in case.
I got 3 bullshit tickets for no registration, no insurance and no license. Not that we didn't have all of that, we just didn't have it with us. So just provide proof and the ticket gets dropped. Right.
We provided proof TWICE and now, 11 years later, they are still there. Yes, New York has a special kind of ineptitude.
Now in Florida, where I will be in a few months, I can go to the DMV and surrender my PA license, show proof of identity, pay $48.00 and walk out with a new Florida license. In North Carolina, I have to surrender my PA license, take the driver's test, pay at least $200.00 or better and then get a new NC license. Guess who ain't getting a NC license?
My wife is a licensed CNA. New York has the strictest guidelines and tests to get that license. In Florida, all she has to do is fill out paperwork and transfer it. In North Carolina, she has to fill out paperwork, take the test (which costs $101.00...don't ask what the extra fucking dollar is for) and maybe get a new license. Guess who ain't getting a NC CNA certificate?

 I'm not quite sure what all this money is for. The website says, these funds go towards keeping the state sales-tax free. My friends say they pay sales tax. They pay property tax, income tax, pet tax, car tax, school tax and sales tax. They pay taxes out the wazoo.
Somebody is making a lot of money, but it's not going where it's supposed to go. You should know, that I expect the government to steal. I expect them to steal the pennies from a dead man's eyes, but goddamnit, you need to give a break somewhere. You have to. Otherwise, you're no longer stealing like a well-dressed governmental career criminal, you're just a common mugger. A filthy mugger.
Now in Florida, I'm pretty sure the government officials steal too. However, they do have no sales tax. You need to throw the people a bone. North Carolina needs to figure this out yet. But you can't blame them. This is probably new to them...after all, North Carolina is the home of the legendary Mayberry. Sheriff Andy Taylor and Deputy Fife.

Andy, Barney, Opie and Aunt Bea gave the people in the dirt-boxes of Philadelphia, New York and Boston a look at the quaint life-style of North Carolina. In all honesty, I didn't really expect Mayberry when I planned this. Hell, I wasn't even expecting Mount Pilot.
But life outside of Raleigh is the same as life outside of Manhattan. Just hotter. And every bit as greedy. And that just doesn't sit well with the memories of that beautiful little town we all loved so much. It's what happens when you let Otis, Floyd and Goober pick the elected officials. It's just wrong.
But, Florida is the next and final stop for my crazy train. It's where I've wanted to be for the last ten years and now, it's on the horizon. The sights and sounds of the Cuban community, the celebrities on South Beach, swimmin' pools, movie stars...oh wait, that's Beverly Hills. But Florida is where I'm heading. We'll be living in Hialeah, laughing at the scenes of those New York winters and at the open hands of the greedy North Carolina DMV.